Bad Cookies and Vegas

Spent a few days in Tahoe with Ryan’s sister. We had fun to the max. Ate extremely well: halibut, tacos, and Applebees! Took an afternoon to go see Juno and it was worth it. Great movie. Took the dogs extreme sledding and I blasted off a six foot drop and caught an eagle feather in mid-air. The second night in Tahoe I ate a pot cookie and was tripping the hell out. That’s why I don’t do many drugs; I can’t even handle the kid stuff! Anyway, I was convinced that Ryan was freaking out and that he wasn’t telling me and that he was keeping secrets. Fun times! Thanks Elsa, Cody, Aspen and Ziggy.

We got fucked in Vegas. The Gameworks that was supposed to have a Robotron had just gotten rid of it! I had to settle for NASCAR pinball. But damn, I love the sensation of the checkered flag draped across my shoulders during a multi-ball. Vegas was what you’d expect, we got hammered and walked around. Saw another cool cover band and climbed a few things. Met a local at the bus stop who lost four grand and was staying with his sister now. He mentioned DUI, coke and pussy within the first few seconds of talking to him. Strangers like that both scare and enrapture me. Fun fact: we saw this same guy passed out on the bus on our way home more than five hours later. Stay fresh!

Scenic Crater Lake

We drove from Eugene to Crater Lake. Along the way we stopped at a scenic point, crossed some railroad tracks (we could have been killed) and climbed out on a huge dam. Ryan commented, “That’s a lot of fill,” in reference to the amount of dirt required to make the dam. He was right.

Some one had spelled out I LOVE YOU with driftwood at the bottom of the slope of the dam. I wondered who they loved and if that person loved them back. Did they love me or was that driftwood message meant for Ryan? Who does Ryan know in Oregon? All this ran through my head but I settled on the thought that it was probably meant for me because I’m so popular in central Oregon.

After driving through a frickin’ snowstorm and fishtailing a few times in the snow we arrived at Crater Lake. Problem was, the weather was so bad we couldn’t even see the lake from the visitor’s center and we sure as hell weren’t waiting around for the weather to clear. It’s cool though. I’m pretty sure the lake is like the Emperor’s New Clothes and can only be seen by liars.

Screwed in Portland

On our way down to Eugene, OR we stopped in Portland to get the high score on the Robotron machine in Ground Kontrol. The current high score was 4 million exactly, which made us suspicious. Ryan and I spent an hour and a half getting to 3.7 million and the MOTHER-FUCKER CRASHED! End post.

Final Prep

Renewed my license today. Did you know the Department of Licensing now offers free massages and complimentary beer while you wait? I suggest you all go down and get your licenses renewed just for fun! You’ll meet awesome people like: stinky old-man, stinky young-man, scary lady, scary lady with dog, and my personal favorite, the Oldest Human Being Allowed to Drive.

And peep this fresh folks: it’s 5:30pm the night before we leave and I haven’t packed a single thing yet! And I’m about to get drunk! Crazy? Girl you know it’s true!

Getting Our Affairs In Order

I have to drop a fat wad of cash tomorrow to cover my bills while I am gone. In addition to this, I just realized my driver’s license expires in mid-March so I have to get it renewed. And as icing on the cake, my car is still in the shop getting new jet engines installed so we have to take Ryan’s Subaru Legacy. Oh well, Paul Hogan would approve.

The Gist

This is THE place to find all manner of updates relating to Jake and Ryan’s coast to coast USA/Robotron domination journey. Stories both fascinating and mundane can be found here. Tell your friends!